The Good, The Bad and the Exhausting

Good: slept in; got both my Chem assignments done; made up my Chem exam 2; made a deal to purchase a painting of myself from one of the students in the class I was modeling for; it was absolutely gorgeous spring weather today in the mid sixties and I wanted desperately to just lie in the grass and soak up sunshine; wandered into Dave & Cranky Chuckie's American Bistro in Provo and made friends with the owners and chefs after being served a pizzookie on the house; Kent came back from the temple where his brother Daniel just got endowed; was reminded of just how strongly I love his face; bought him a nice suit jacket that was basically 85% off

Portrait of Marina Ramsay by Sheriden Bronson

Chocolate Chip Pizookie from Dave & Cranky Chuckie's

Bad: felt so disorganized during that Chem exam, probably partially to do with the fact that I just found out Tuesday that I could make it up, and the only time I could study for it was last night so I was up until 5 AM studying and finishing assignments; missed Physics because I slept in

Exhausting: only getting 5 hours of sleep; forgetting to eat because I'm so busy all day; sitting for three hours in the same pose; trying not to get overwhelmed with the To Do list containing family, financial, wedding and school things; having to stay up late again to complete other assignments

I'm Back?

My goodness, I used to be really good at keeping a blog. So many things have changed since my last post.
For starters, I'm engaged!! To the most wonderful man that could possibly have been made for me. Our wedding is April 27th of this year. We got engaged in June of last year, so it's been a while. Mormon engagements are a little different. We don't shack up together and go ho-hum until we feel like getting married. So, the tension and stress is a little more heightened. But we couldn't avoid it, family comes first, so we moved the date from December to April. But I would recommend keeping it to four months from engagement to wedding.

Even though we've had more than enough time to plan, it's still incredibly stressful! I'm taking the minimum of 12 credits at BYU, only two ballroom classes and several science classes, and I'm still flopping around like a beached whale. Quite literally. Because I've cut back on dance, I think I've gained at least 20 pounds since the summer. I've never felt my sides touch when I bent over, or felt my thighs, butt, arms or back jiggle when I ran. It's infuriating and a blow to my self-esteem.

And here I will list the many wonderful qualities of one Kent Pimentel (skip to spare yourself the sap):
Kent is kind and patient. There have been countless times when I have broke down crying from stress, from sadness, or for no good reason at all, and he's been there for me with the perfect response. He's helped me prioritize, comforted me with hugs and little kisses on the cheek and forehead. He dances with me in the kitchen when no one is around. He dances with me at the supermarket. He dances with me in the street. He tells me all the time that I am the most beautiful girl in the world, and it's funny because he's the only one I believe. He makes me feel beautiful, with compliments and smiles and so many little things. "I would still love you," he says, "even if you looked like a truck. But you don't look like a truck. You're more of a Ferrari."  He doesn't get upset when I'm sulky, he just tries to love me back to happiness. Anyone else I know would be exasperated and say "oh come on enough already." Not him. He is a total nerd, in a good way. We both love Sci-Fi shows. I introduced him to Doctor Who, he introduced me to Stargate. He appreciates art, politics, music, dance, geeky computer stuff, philosophy, history, everything! His passion for life is amazing. He makes friends so easily and is so outgoing.

tl;dr Kent is awesome and I'm terribly lucky to be marrying his face.

I suppose I should sleep maybe. But I could get so many things done in these early hours... Perhaps next time I'll list details about the wedding and receptions!

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5 Lessons Learned from Forget-Me-Nots

I just got out of Relief Society General Conference. It was an amazing experience. The last talk was given by Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf, Second Counselor in the First Presidency of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. He used the metaphor of the Forget-Me-Not to teach five things we sisters should never forget.

The first was to be patient with yourself. The Lord is fully aware that we are not perfect, and doesn't expect us to be right away. We shouldn't compare our weaknesses to others' strengths. It gives us impossible expectations of ourselves. Eventually, the Lord will help us to turn all our weaknesses into strengths. If we stay on the path of discipleship and keep working towards perfection, one day we will reach that point. He told us to stop punishing ourselves. He commended us for being incredibly patient and compassionate towards others, but he reminded us to be patient and compassionate with ourselves. Our progress, no matter how slight, does not go unnoticed by He who created even the smallest flowers.

He reminded us to remember the difference between a foolish and a good sacrifice. He compared the sacrifice of losing sleep to comfort a small child who was wakened by a nightmare to the sacrifice of staying up all night to create intricate little handouts to distribute in Sunday's lesson. He told us to ask ourselves, "Am I committing my time and energy to the things that matter most?" We must keep an eternal perspective, and our priorities will fall into place.

We must not forget to be happy now. Recall the children's story of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, when only five candy bars around the world had a golden ticket. People forgot about the simple joy of eating a sweet bar of chocolate and only focused on finding a golden ticket. If a candy bar didn't have one, it was a waste and a disappointment. The problem is when we put happiness on hold while we wait for something that we believe will bring us happiness. When you pin your hopes and happiness on one thing and forget to be grateful for the blessings you have, your unmet desires turn into bitterness and anger. If we spend our days waiting, we could miss the tender wonder of the small things in life. The message is not to abandon hope or worthy goals. But we must not close our eyes to each day's wonderful ordinary moments.

We need to remember the Why of the Gospel. Often we make a long list of tasks and turn gospel oriented activities into obligations. We know the what and how, but we forget the why. The gospel of Jesus Christ is a pathway, a pattern for living. When we embrace the eternal fire and majesty of why we should live a gospel-patterned life, it ceases to become a burden and becomes a joy. The what and how marks the way, but the why sanctifies our actions.

The last thing he reminded us was that the Lord loves each and every one of us. I can't really put into words how powerful and true his testimony of this fact was. He emphasized that You are never forgotten. We may feel small and insignificant, but we are precious daughters of the most powerful being in existence. It was a beautiful, sweet reminder that I desperately needed.

The Trouble With Nice People & One of My Greatest Fears

The trouble with nice people is they are nice to everyone and you can't really tell when they are being sincere or if you are special to them. I've been on both sides of this. I try to be a nice person, and I try to treat everyone I meet with kindness and respect. Some people, when I am kind to them and listen to them and take the time to get to know them, mistake my friendship and reaching out for flirting. Then they feel hurt when they realize that I was only trying to befriend them and I had no intention of attracting them romantically. On the flip side, I have also been hurt in this way. It hurts to know that the little niceties and affections you receive do not make you special to someone, but are merely a result of the other person's good nature and desire to be liked. I know how good it feels to make someone feel loved and included, but I also know how much it hurts to know that you're nothing special. That is why one of my goals is to be more sincere with others. I still want to reach out to other people, but I want my actions and motives to be clear so I don't hurt anyone.

One of my greatest fears is disappointing people by not meeting their expectations of me. Today I let my ballroom partner down. I honestly thought he said we were practicing at 9, but he actually said that we were practicing at 8 and we could practice at 9 if we needed to. He waited 40 minutes for me to show up, but I was taking a nap and didn't hear him calling until 8:45. I feel awful, especially because we only practiced for half an hour (due to lack of space, sleep, and patience), and we were going to go through all our routines today. To make up for it, I'm going to get there half an hour early, practice spinning, and go over our routines by myself until he arrives. He deserves better. I also talked to another ballroom friend, who did basically the same thing I did. I think it's because we're all trying to adjust to our new schedules, and we're finding we need more sleep than we could get by on a few weeks ago. We're tired, frustrated, and napping through our commitments. Solution: earlier bedtime and making time to practice more and warm up.

My Book List

For Fun

 A River Runs Through It - Norman Maclean
Hunger Games (series) - Suzanne Collins
Fablehaven (series) - Brandon Mull
Wheel of Time (series) - Robert Jordan
Elantris - Brandon Sanderson
Undaunted Courage - Stephen E. Ambrose
Scott Pilgrim - Bryan Lee O’Malley
Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis de Bernieres
Dresden Files - Jim Butcher
I Am Number Four, The Power of Six) - Pittacus LoreThe Life of Sir William Ramsay - Morris Travers

Self Help

How to Win Friends and Influence People - Dale Carnegie
How to Stop Worrying and Start Living - Dale Carnegie
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens - Sean Covey 

Religious

Believing Christ - Stephen E. Robinson
Broken Things to Mend - Jeffrey R. Holland
Miracle of Forgiveness - Spencer W. Kimball
The Infinite Atonement - Tad R. Callister
To the Rescue - Thomas S. Monson

The Power of Six, Jekyll & Hyde

The long weekend was a nice breather after a hectic week of back-to-school insanity. On Monday night, I got to go to the Payson Community Theater's production of "Jekyll and Hyde: The Musical". It was incredible!! There was so much talent. Jekyll/Hyde was a one-man marvel. His voice was flexible and perfectly controlled, whether in the pure tones of Jekyll or the rough growls of Mr. Hyde. And his ability to warm the heart with the character's courage and virtue in one moment and make you feel sick with horror and fear the next was admirable. I had never even heard of this musical before, and I loved it. Even though it was a smaller community production, the talented cast members made it spectacular. The music was beautiful as well. But what made it most powerful was how it really made you think about human nature and the forces of good and evil. I'd love to read the book sometime.

I just finished The Power of Six, the second book in the Lorien Legacies Series by Pittacus Lore. I read it in two days (about 400 pages, mind you, with classes and hw). The series is about the last surviving individuals of a race of good aliens, whose planet was destroyed by a race of bad aliens. The good aliens are trying to survive until they can defend themselves and Earth and return to their planet Lorien to bring it back to life, but the bad aliens are trying to destroy them and Earth. That's a pretty watered down summary, but you get the picture. I read the first book, I Am Number Four during the roadtrip to and from the California ballroom competition this summer. Just for the record, it's a TON better than the movie. The movie makes it look like the kid had no idea what's going on, and his guardian comes across as a jerk. The book is a lot more comprehensive and dramatic, and there are powers and creatures and situations (that are kindof really important) that you never see in the movie. It's a pretty fun series. It makes it better that Number Seven's name is Marina. :)

Sunday Thoughts

(private post on my Tumblr)